20 Reasons Not To Go To Work

1. Hate my job
   
2. I'm allergic to work
   
3. I'm sick
   
4. It's that time of the month, so you really don't want me there
   
5. I killed someone
   
6. My car broke down
   
7. Snowed in
   
8. I don't work well with others
   
9. I have split personalities and neither one wants to come in
   
10. I have to go to the hospital
    
11. My brains leaking, so I can't come
    
12. I'm taking my kid to the hospital
    
13. My wife's in labor
    
14. I need a vacation and now sounds like a good time to start
    
15. I just struck it rich, so I don't need to work today, thanks
    
16. My house just burnt down, I can't come in just now
    
17. My power went out and I slept through my alarm
    
18. I hit Big Foot with my car and I'm too busy chasing him through the woods
    
19. I just robbed a big bank and I'm on the run from the law
    
20. I quit…uhm today