Thursday, September 1, 2011

20 Reasons Not To Get Married

  1. Hate sharing
  2. Hate people
  3. Have future planned out to live alone and prove to the world man can do it.
  4. You'll just get divorced anyway
  5. Don't want kids
  6. Mean spirited
  7. Bad hygiene
  8. Planning on taking over the world
  9. Ebenezer Scrooge's cousin, even stingier then he was
  10. Can't commit
  11. Still lives at home
  12. Compulsive liar
  13. Have to get a bigger place
  14. Hate men/women
  15. Can't provide for oneself, so couldn't provide for a spouse
  16. Want to sleep with whomever I want
  17. Weddings are stupid
  18. We don't have to get married to prove we love each other
  19. Cheap
  20. I'm undercover and its not allowed

10 Unusual Jobs


Safari Guide

Mortuary Caretaker

Snake Charmer

Animal Barber

Food Taster for the King

Royal Dog Belly Rubber

Product Tester

Undercover Cop

Professional Scrapbooker

Wild Animal Catcher


Talking Fish Instructor

Bean Stalk Gardner

Alien Welcomer

Magic Sword Caretaker

Magic Wand Shopkeeper

Vampire Hunter

Slayer as in The Slayer

Santa's Reindeer caretaker

Fairy Guide

A Watcher

20 Reasons Not To Go To Work

  1. Hate my job
  2. I'm allergic to work
  3. I'm sick
  4. It's that time of the month, so you really don't want me there
  5. I killed someone
  6. My car broke down
  7. Snowed in
  8. I don't work well with others
  9. I have split personalities and neither one wants to come in
  10. I have to go to the hospital
  11. My brains leaking, so I can't come
  12. I'm taking my kid to the hospital
  13. My wife's in labor
  14. I need a vacation and now sounds like a good time to start
  15. I just struck it rich, so I don't need to work today, thanks
  16. My house just burnt down, I can't come in just now
  17. My power went out and I slept through my alarm
  18. I hit Big Foot with my car and I'm too busy chasing him through the woods
  19. I just robbed a big bank and I'm on the run from the law
  20. I quit…uhm today

Creative Writing

Be prepared for loads of creative writing to come your way. I'm taking a creative writing class. Ok, rather I'm taking one vicariously through my kid sister, C. She's taking it for her senior year of high school and I thought it would be fun to give it a whirl by doing the assignments too. I'm finding that at the moment they are a little random, but I'm sure there is a reason behind it. Exercising the use of creativity and spontaneity, perhaps. Anyway, I wanted to give you a heads up. I hope you enjoy my creative writing, I hope I will too!